The Beautiful South
A modest plea from me to you to embrace this band of Brits



There’s really no reason to bow to convention, unless you’re trying to impress your date’s parents. Unfortunately, some of the most unconventional music slips under the radar because its risky nature is not being adequately financed by the major labels. Or maybe everyone’s saving their money for the upcoming Paris Hilton album. Whatever.

This could be why the Beautiful South, while achieving reputable status in their home of England, have barely registered in the United States. Sure, they have their share of American fans (myself included), but a mere mention of their name will most likely garner confused looks from Yanks.

To be fair, their lack of popularity is somewhat understandable. Let’s examine the lyrics, for example. One of the most interesting and unique aspects of this band is their juxtaposition of sweet melodies and caustic, biting words.

They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip
They say be careful where you come at night, I just shoot straight from the hip
When it comes to loves great fountain, I won't just take a sip
I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick.

The song, “Mini-Correct,” is from the band’s 1994 album, Miaow, and is told from the point of view of a chauvinistic, sadistic bastard. Often, the band’s lyrics are like theater, with the two male vocalists and one female vocalist acting out the parts. Singer/lyricist Paul Heaton enjoys writing about relationships and seems to take a particular interest in the sometimes cruel and thoughtless nature of men. The women in his lyrics know this behavior all too well.

A woman goes to heaven, it's not important when,
As soon as she arrives, God has to send her down again.
"You've got an extra five years to clean up after men."
"I mean no disrespect, God...but you'd better make it ten."

(from “Gates,” on the album Gaze)

But the lyrics can also be sweet, unironic, and unapologetically romantic:

I once had a friend who I loved from my heart
But I went on and left her 'fore I'd made a start
Now I'm moaning the blues like the rest of the charts
Take me back

So I'll cry with a limp
Just get by on a limb
Till these blue eyes of mine they are closed
So here's to an old fashioned peck on the cheek
And farewell my sweet Northern Rose

(from “One Last Love Song,” on the album Carry On Up the Charts: the Best of the Beautiful South)

The Beautiful South, which formed in 1989, rose from the ashes of the Housemartins, a mid-eighties band where Heaton served as singer/lyricist (and whose bass player was a gentleman named Norman Cook, now better known to the world as Fatboy Slim). The best way I can describe the Housemartins is if the Smiths attended a gospel revival. The band made two excellent albums and released a greatest hits collection (featuring lots of rare tracks) before breaking up. Heaton soon formed TBS with the Housemartins’ drummer, Dave Hemingway, joining him on lead vocals. Soon a female vocalist (Briana Corrigan) was added, in addition to guitarist/songwriter Dave Rotheray, bass player Sean Welch and drummer Dave Stead.

Over the years, TBS have released a slew of albums (Welcome to the Beautiful South, Choke, 0898, Miaow, Blue is the Colour, Quench, Painting it Red, Gaze) rich with melody and biting wit. In the process, they’ve gained a huge following in the U.K., and have gone through three female vocalists (Briana Corrigan and her replacement, Jacqueline Abbott, have both quit due to personal conflicts with the band; their latest singer is Allison Wheeler, who, at this writing, is still with the group).

If you trust my Housemartins description, perhaps you’ll go along with my TBS description – actually, a friend who attended a TBS show with me in 2000 actually came up with the description, but I think it works: Elton John meets Squeeze. It’s pop music, all right; but teeming with sophistication that a thousand Britneys could never muster up. The vocals are always gorgeously arranged and sung (particularly by Heaton, whose voice is utterly amazing) and there are many traditional touches in the arrangements (lots of piano, for example), but they’re not afraid to throw in a subtle drum machine here or there, or even an odd sitar riff to give a tune a unique color. They pay homage to favorite songwriters by way of subtle imitation (“Pretty” copies an Elvis Costello line, “newlyweds and nearly-deads”) or even the traditional way, cover songs (their versions of “Everybody’s Talkin’” and “Dream a Little Dream of Me” are sublime).

In my experience as someone who enjoys introducing friends to new music, it’s worth noting that most people I know who hear TBS for the first time almost always like the music and subsequently seek it out. Every once in a while someone will lose interest once they hear the lyrics. But if you have beautiful music and boring lyrics, what fun would that be?

TBS has two best-of collections, Carry On Up the Charts (1995) and Solid Bronze (2001). The first one is a good place to start (the second one is a little redundant, if you ask me). I suggest getting the individual discs. My personal favorites are 0898 and Quench, but really, they’re all good. Get them now. Knowing the lack of imagination displayed by your friendly neighborhood record company executive, it may not be long before all Beautiful South albums fall out of print after a while.